A Catullus for Every Occasion

By Ashley Feng & Iris Harshaw

There are times when words fail us – when the expressions of emotion that come to mind seem so overused and cliche. Never fear, Hallmark Antony & Co. is here! We strive to bring ancient wisdom to every occasion you encounter. Through the medium of brand-new-fresh-original translations of Gaius Valerius Catullus’s poetry, you can now find the right words for every special someone in your life.

Catullus was a poet who lived and wrote during the late Roman Republic. He is famous for his spirited (often crude) language. His poems have been preserved in an anthology of 116 carmina, divided into poems addressed to friends, erotic poems, invectives, and condolences. Subjects of his poems include his on-again-off-again girlfriend Lesbia, his frenemy Rufus, his male lover Juventius, and many more. Here are some of the highlights, hand-selected for all your greeting card needs:

For when your friend is really stinky and it’s starting to affect his relationships

For when you have to cut off a toxic friend

For when you want the cool kids to sit at your table

For when you’ve been hurt one too many times

For when you’re just feeling a certain kind of way

For when you’re dating a farmer

For when you’re smitten and bad at math

Notes from the Translators

Iris: Ashley and I spent this summer translating Catullus twice a week over Zoom. While we spent half of these calls just chatting about our lives, the official task was to translate in a more creative way than either of us ever had for class before. We wanted to get beyond the technical definitions of each word, beyond the strict structures of Latin grammar, and arrive at something that felt more like English poetry. A big part of the fun was comparing our individual translation styles. That aspect was especially interesting for Catullus’s more explicit poems which we largely left out from the greeting card selection due to their rape-y undertones and period-typical homophobia (e.g. Catullus 16, 21, 56, 112). Let’s just say I have an amo-odi relationship with this particular Latin poet and his choices of subject. Still, I am always amazed at the emotions that seem to transcend time and literature. Catullus loved and he hated in equal fervor. How can we not relate to that?

Ashley: Iris put it all perfectly. Catullus is one of my favorite poets, simply for the sheer complexity he displays. Half of the joy of translation has been imagining what emotion drove him to write the very words I was parsing. We hope you enjoy our greeting cards and put them to good use. Special thanks to Kourtney Murray for her enthusiasm and input!

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